whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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