So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
