tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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