i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize