there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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