Say something about gay babies.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
