I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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