How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Alive.
So much puke
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
