so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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