There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize