If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
