pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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