do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
