Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
