I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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