thus making me awesome and them whores
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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