Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
True strength comes from lack of pants
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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