What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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