so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
