you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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