Little spoons don't ask big questions
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
