In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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