Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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