closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Randomize