i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
