Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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