Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
