my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
