I wanna bring you to show and tell
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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