Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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