she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
The best revenge is premature balding
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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