Me too!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
