She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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