thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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