we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I queefed so loud it echoed.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize