I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
