I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
