u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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