Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
