Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
