I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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