soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
