just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Panties = found
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
