i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize