i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
