no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
