I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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