Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize