i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
