Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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