I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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