I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize