Farmville is her only friend.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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