I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
