..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
