Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
