they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
