I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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