just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
