And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
