your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
