I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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