maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
