sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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