I didn't shave. On purpose
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
