The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
