Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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