You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
