i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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