I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
