Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
