how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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