If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize