It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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