Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
