i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
