i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
