You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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