trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
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