Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
