Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
