ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
