lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
