Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
