i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She bit a glass in half.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
