If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
