Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
