wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
