I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
